More Juice Anyone?

I have a theory. I'm pretty sure the Nutribullet is the product of an alien race meant to infiltrate every home and take over our minds.

Hear me out.

From my perspective, albeit a limited one, the Nutribullet was one of the more popular gifted items this year. They could barely keep them on the shelves at our nearest Bed, Bath & Beyond, according to an employee there. I myself was gifted a Nutribullet, and because of that my sister bought one. Because of that, my parents briefly considered getting one themselves in the future possibly.

If the Twilight Zone has taught me anything, (not to mention the films the Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Little Shop of Horrors, and the TV shows V, The X-Files, and possibly The Outer Limits) it is to be skeptical of something too good to be true or it may warp your brain.

Thinking my argument sounded weak, I ran it by my husband who immediately laughed it off, then told me to relax and drink my juice.

But then, of course the idea is ludicrous sounding to most people. By now the Magic Bullet company has infiltrated the media to the extent that we are all being brainwashed into buying one. If you think that sounds crazy, just watch the Nutribullet video (with caution) and note the audience watching the demonstration. Case closed.

I don't expect this blog post to be up for long, as they obviously won't like the truth to be told. Count yourselves among the lucky few to know. When things start to get bad for humans, let's all hunker down in a bunker somewhere.

That's pretty extreme. For now, if you know of anyone who has been gifted, especially those who have been suspiciously gifted, a Nutribullet, watch changes in their behavior and be wary of any "extracted" foods they offer you.

Last of all, when you are tempted yourself to get a Nutribullet ask yourselves, "Is the health and vitality that the Nutribullet promises worth forfeiting your human-ness?"

Oh yeah, have a happy New Year's Day!