Jake and the Troubled Neverland Pirates

Note: This post makes way less sense of you haven't seen Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Even if you have, though, it won't make all that much sense.

There are days when I'll sit and watch some of my kids' favorite shows with them. This is usually when I really for truly want to get some work done or just look at Pinterest. So sue me, the computer doesn't charge a penny for its time.

Lately, the show of choice has been Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I just heard my readers throw up in their mouths in unison. All two of you! Anyway, yeah, I don't like it either, but I'm not completely sure why. I think it has something to do with J. M. Barrie turning in his grave. Poor guy needs his rest! I also don't like shows that teach my kids to obey stupid commands, like Jake and Dora and Diego. You know, like when they climb a ladder and tell the kids at home to help them climb by yelling, "Climb, climb, climb!" Or for sweeping the floor it's, "Sweep, sweep, sweep!" Dora and Diego are strictly banned in my home for this reason. So is Caillou for different reasons. Don't get me started on Caillou.

Needless to say, I am extremely picky about the shows I let my kids watch. They can't annoy me like crazy, which narrows their list down to like two. I have to say the Curious George TV show tops the list. There are no secret passwords, magic words, or audience participation, lame junk. I do have some questions for the makers of the show, though. Like, what does the man with the yellow hat do for a living? He must make bank, with that fancy city apartment and country home. And what exactly is George's age? He has the mental capacity of somewhere between three and six, I'd guess in human years. But he IS a monkey, so that would put him at what, 20-30? Also, why is it that no one seems to have biological parents except for Marco? I do love that show and think about it way too much for a kid program, but that is a mom mental health issue for another day.

Back to Jake: my brain has found a coping mechanism in order for me to endure these little shows that I detest so much. It started out as small time coping. I decided right away that Jake was a jerk, but I couldn't decide why. Then I, like a rocket scientist, noticed there is only one girl and two boys in their pirate crew. If the Neverland Pirates are going to be honest, that has to make for some serious tension among crew mates.

Jake and Izzy are pretty cozy now and again, and Cubby is sort of a third wheel. Wouldn't you think Cubby gets a little resentful of the setup? Since Izzy is the only girl, it's only natural that Cubby would pine after her, but he doesn't measure up to the prowess of Jake, who is fit, muscular, tall, bossy, and has a jaw line.

Izzy, being the only girl, has it made basically, except not having a girlfriend to discuss her drama with. She has her pick of crew mates, but if she's upfront with herself, they really aren't much. Jake is the logical choice, but he takes her for granted. Cubby is more sensitive, but he's just a friend. Now, Peter Pan is a different story. That's where her aspirations are, because he's like the king of Neverland. He's just never around, though, which makes for many nights crying into her pillow.

Jake seems easy to figure out at first. He's the leader of their lame pirate crew, so he obviously has an inflated sense of self-importance. However, if you look deeper, Jake is extremely disturbed because of the pressure he has to live up to the legend of Peter Pan. He's only *this* close from turning to the dark side and joining Captain Hook where his talents would be more appreciated. Oh, and have you noticed how much Jake looks like Rufio sans skunk hair-do? They both wear vests, have red in or around their hair, are gifted skateboarders, and are not Caucasian (I'm not sure what race the animators are trying to make Jake).

Wow, that opens up a whole new can of worms. This probably explains some of the tension that exists in Hook. I KNEW there was more to the story.

Okay, now I'm done. Man, I could really make something of that show.

I'm Pretty Sure My Kids See Dead People

When Calvin was two, he said he was going to go play catch with ghosts. Even though his daddy was standing right there. He'd proceed to throw a ball at what we presumed was just a wall and tell "it" nice catch. Thankfully, he stopped creeping us out and he grew out of that, or so it seemed.

About a month ago, Calvin randomly told me about a lady in his room. I asked him when he saw her and listed off people we knew that he could have been referring to. He said no to all of my suggestions, and he said he saw her at nighttime. Hoping with all my heart he was just telling me a story, I asked him if it was a nice lady or a mean lady.  He wasn't sure. {Shivers}

Now Oliver will be engaging in some sort of fun-awesome activity like pretending the laundry basket is a boat and I'll simulate a violent storm. Then he'll stand up suddenly and have a look of surprise on his face and say, "Bad guys!" Then he does the Spiderman web-slinging move that his brother showed him, and, luckily, that seems to get rid of them. He'll also go into empty rooms and call out, "Hello? Hello?"

Are all children like this, or just ones with "the gift"?